So getting back into it is not fun at all. My run was fine (although I cut it shorter than I planned), but after getting ready, breakfast, daycare dishes, I was just exhausted. That is strange.
I haven't been involved in the blogging community that long. Okay, actually I wouldn't really call myself involved in the blogging community, but I do have a list of blogs I read daily, and I like finding out what other people are doing. These are mostly running blogs, but there are some other ones sprinkled in. I've noticed a trend in these blogs by other young women that is driving me a little crazy. I'm not usually one to rant and rave in public, so I'll try to keep this minimal.
Six years ago I stayed in Mexico for an extended period for the first time. I was here ten weeks, and I worked in the daycare every day, alongside the teachers. One girl I worked with had medium brown hair, light brown eyes, and beautiful caramel skin. One day we were talking and she told me that she wished she had skin like mine.
I looked at her in disbelief because I was raised in a culture that worshipped her color of skin. I proceeded to tell her that many white women go to tanning beds or buy products to make their skin look like hers. She was shocked and in disbelief. She wanted my pale skin, while I had spent my youth pining for her color because I didn't enjoy wearing shorts when I was younger. I knew I'd get comments on how pale I was, or I was self-conscious about what other people were thinking.
That was a turning point for me. Our perceptions of skin color - what's acceptable, cool, in - are based on our culture. While many white Americans want darker skin via a tan, many in other cultures see lighter skin as better. And guess what? We're all wrong. There's nothing wrong with how we're naturally made.
Three different colors. But we're so happy!
I see so many young women write on their blogs about how how "white" their skin is, how pale their face looks, how they are sorry if they blind you by their winter legs. Where does this come from? I've had my own share of comments directed at my own legs. My legs see the sun about 10 times a year - I can't go around wearing shorts in my town. Therefore, my legs never get any color (and even when I try, it simply rarely takes).
I've decided to stop fighting it. That girl I worked with six years ago finally got me start believing that it was okay for me to have my skin color. I still tend to worry about it, but I've begun to give myself permission to be myself.