This is why usually I can't talk to people about things - it never ends up as a real discussion. Not only that, when having a discussion presenting new ideas or wondering about different sides/takes on things is never accepted. The other person has never been okay with just the wondering. When I can't wonder, I quit.
I love this chart. I'm like you, I get frustrated with people who cannot be dealt with rationally. I should keep a copy of this with me to hand out to people who think they are discussing when they are just telling you what they think (and you should too).
One of the biggest things I find that inhibits discussion is whether or not someone thinks out loud, which tends to be an intro/extroverted personality thing. I am very introverted and prefer to form ideas completely before saying anything. I find that when someone who tends to think out loud asks you a question, they expect you to think out loud with your response. When you pause they might assume you agree with them and move on to something else. Or assume you have nothing to say and move on to something else. Or assume you weren't clear what they were asking and expand on what they just said even further even though you understood them perfectly and are just pausing to get your thoughts together. All before you can say "Hmm, let me think about that a second."
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ReplyDeleteI love this chart. I'm like you, I get frustrated with people who cannot be dealt with rationally. I should keep a copy of this with me to hand out to people who think they are discussing when they are just telling you what they think (and you should too).
ReplyDeleteOne of the biggest things I find that inhibits discussion is whether or not someone thinks out loud, which tends to be an intro/extroverted personality thing. I am very introverted and prefer to form ideas completely before saying anything. I find that when someone who tends to think out loud asks you a question, they expect you to think out loud with your response. When you pause they might assume you agree with them and move on to something else. Or assume you have nothing to say and move on to something else. Or assume you weren't clear what they were asking and expand on what they just said even further even though you understood them perfectly and are just pausing to get your thoughts together. All before you can say "Hmm, let me think about that a second."